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all Essay correction for Pre-1 Grade (1) - Takeshi - 2022/05/26(Thu) 18:31:56 [No.2028]
Essay correction for Pre-1 Grade (2) - Takeshi - 2022/05/28(Sat) 12:45:46 [No.2031]
Essay correction for Pre-1 Grade (3) - Takeshi - 2022/06/01(Wed) 17:15:51 [No.2033]
Essay correction for Pre-1 Grade (4) - Takeshi - 2022/06/02(Thu) 17:46:00 [No.2034]
Essay writing for 2nd Grade (2021-1) - Takeshi - 2022/05/27(Fri) 18:04:39 [No.2030]
Essay writing for 2nd Grade (2021-3) - Takeshi - 2022/05/29(Sun) 19:05:28 [No.2032]


Essay correction for Pre-1 Grade (1) - Takeshi

TOPIC: Pre-1 Grade ( 2021-3 )

Should people stop using goods that are made from animals?

POINTS
Animal rights
Endangered species
Product quality
Tradition

[ Two points / 120 -150 words ]

[添削例]

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I think that people should use goods that are made from animals. There are two reasons.

First, these days there are food that are made from animals and some of them are a traditional foods. If people stop using animal, the food taste will be bad and people won’t stop using it. Also if we don’t eat animal meat or something, our body will become unhealthy so we should keep eating it.

Second, if we stop using that are made from animals, the product quality that are made from animal will be worst. Most of the product that are made from animal are better than the unnaturally things and many people uses the things that are made from animals now so we can’t stop using it suddenly.

From these reasons I think that people should use goods that are made from animals.

_____________________________

I do not think people have to stop using goods that are made from animals.

First, there are many different kinds of traditional foods made from animal products. For example, many Asian or European dishes are cooked with milk or eggs, which enhances the taste and flavors. If people are not allowed to use animal products for food, they cannot serve their traditional food, and those who work in the food industry might lose their jobs. In addition, food cooked with animal meat contains important nutrients for our body, which can help us stay healthy.

Second, most of the items made from animals are better quality than those made from artificial ingredients. For instance, bags or shoes made of leather are strongly built and cannot easily break down. Although these products are more expensive than those made from plastics, they can be used for many years, which can help reduce the amount of waste that people produce.

For these reasons, I do not believe that it is necessary for people to stop using good made from animals.


[No.2028] 2022/05/26(Thu) 18:31:56

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