 Essay correction for Pre-1 Grade (4) (No.2033 への返信) - Takeshi  |
TOPIC: Pre-1 ( 2018-2 )
Should Japan do more to protect its historic sites?
POINTS
Cost
Development
Education
Tourism
[[ I believe that Japan should do more to protect its historic sites.
I have two reasons to support my opinion.
The first reason is that children should see real historic sites for education.
They can learn history by some pictures, but They can learn history more effective to see real historic sites.
Therefor Japanese elementary school go to some historic sites to study about traditional skills and cultures.
The second reason is that many tourists come to Japan every year from all over the world.
Seeing historic sites is one of their aids and there are many historic places in Japan.
Japan has a lot of assets for tourism so we have to protect historic places for tourists
These reasons above, I believe that Japan should do protect its historic sites. ]]
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[添削例]
I think Japan should do more to protect its historic sites.
First, children can learn a lot by visiting historic sites. For example, the old capital city of Kyoto has a wide variety of traditional temples and shrines, where children can learn how people in the past lived and what belief they had back in those days. Therefore, it is important to preserve the historic sites for children's education.
Second, more preservation effort needs to be made to promote tourism. Many people, not only within the country but also from all over the world, are attracted to visit historically famous places in Japan. When those tourists visit such historic sites, they spend a lot of money there, staying in hotels or eating at restaurants. As a result, many people are hired to serve them, which helps improve the local economy.
[No.2034] 2022/06/02(Thu) 17:46:00 |
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